Representing

Well I feel kind of lame for not posting in over a year. This was originally for a class, thus all of those specific topics. But, now my husband is taking that same class and reminded me of this blog. He didn't understand why I hadn't kept it up and I couldn't fully answer him. So here I am, trying to make up for lost time.

This time, I would like to go over something I learned from one of my teachers a few weeks ago on a religious sense. In the LDS religion, we have a specific prayer that we say over sacrament (communion). In the prayer, it tells us that we are to, "willing to take upon them the name of thy Son [Christ]..." My professor pointed out that the 3rd commandment is not to take the Lord's name in vain. When members of the LDS faith say this, they are usually referring to the term of "O my..." As my teacher studied the phrase "in vain" he found that it referred to the right or authority. When we take the name of Christ, we are representing Him and have the obligation to act as He would. Yet when we are doing those things that are contradictory to His teachings, we are taking Christ's name in vain.

Shake 'n' Bake

Mixing a family can be really difficult. There are so many diversities coming from each individual involved. One or both parents have been in a failed relationship and one or both have one or more children. Each have had disappointments in their lives and all come in with certain expectations.
With all the pressures and differences that come into the already fragile situation, there are 3 suggestions to help the transition go smoother.
1. It Takes 2 Years for Normalcy
       This gives you an approximate end goal. Because of all the changes, it will take 2 years for everyone to
       feel comfortable with the new expectations
2. The Bio Parent Needs to Discipline
       It's very important that the biological parent of the child is the one to lay down the law. They have an
       established relationship with the child. The child knows the parent loves them, but if the step parent tries
       to discipline the child, they feel it's out of dislike or spite of the child
3. The Step Parent Needs to be Supportive of the Child
       There needs to be a relationship with the step parent and child before there can be discipline. Acting like
       an Aunt or Uncle is the best way to establish a relationship. The step parent needs to support the bio
       parent's decisions but also needs to show the child that they care about them.
Remembering these 3 things can help prevent fights and trials that a blended family face. It won't always be easy and there will still be struggles along the way, but they can be overcome with time and patience.

Hardest Thing

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs anyone will have. At the beginning you do all the work in the relationship, then as they get older, they fight with you about everything. You rarely if ever get a thank you and have absolutely zero pay. In fact, you pay thousands of dollars to have these little rascals in your home.
So why do people have children? Because it really is the most rewarding thing some of us can do in this life. It is an innate characteristic for most of us to want families. That's part of the Lord's plan for us. Within the family, we become more and more like God himself. Through our spouses we learn all the traits we need to be gods and goddess.
Parenting gives us the chance to understand and feel what Heavenly Father does. We have created life, and raise our children. We watch them grow to be like us (or in our case pray they'll be better than us). These experiences are what make it all worth it. The first time you hear your child say mama or dada. Or when they thank you for doing something for them. Or when they turn to you in their later years and tell you that you are their hero. I'm not sure there's anything more powerful and meaningful.
Although it's not easy. Letting your children govern themselves within boundaries as they get older helps them to do those things that will bring you those sweet moments. We just have to remember to be active parents; not doormats or dictators. Blessings will come, always they will come.

Women Empowered

 "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." --The First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

                The special abilities of a mother and her role in a family is ordained of God. There's a saying in my family, "If mama ain't happy, nobody happy." And it's true. The parents are the glue that hold the family, and dare I say she plays a large role of that.

                The world has made the life of working outside the home (for both men and women) enticing and exciting. That if you aren't out in the world you are isolated and holding yourself back. But truth be told, women who decide to stay at home with children are no less likely to be in touch with the world around them. In fact, some are more involved than those in the work force.

                The article we read this week, gave a few ideas of how women can keep up with the world. Listening to educational radio and television, joining book clubs, etc. Does anyone have any other ideas how moms can help participate in the community without feeling the need to leave home and children?

What Does That Mean?

                When relationships struggle, people always tell you that you "just need to communicate more". But what does that really mean? It's actually a fairly broad topic.

                Those who tend to give the "more communication" advice tend to mean that you need to talk more often to each other. According to the dictionary, one definition of communication is "a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior." But I would like to take it even further than that. I would like to add meaningful information should be passed between you. One can exchange all the information about WWII or what's going on in Wall Street and it will make little difference to the strength of your relationship.

                I appreciate the dictionary for stating that communication doesn't just happen through verbal cues, but there are many things we say by the tone we use, the way we position our bodies, or even the way our eyes look. This is where meaningful communication sprouts. We can say "That's great" and have it mean several different things. It can be enthusiastic, sarcastic, monotone (as a mere response), or hesitant. All have incredibly diverse connotations.

                Now it's not always easy to have that evocative communication with one another. But some helpful knowledge  I was given this week is how the Prophet and the general authorities counsel with each other.

                                1. Tell Them How Much You Love and Appreciate Them and All They Do

                                2. Pray

                                3. Discuss to CONSENSUS What the Lord's Will Is

                                4. Pray

                                5. Enjoy Treats Together

                When you have this sort of pattern, you tend to open up more to those you are engaging with.  You feel more comfortable and valued. This is the Lord's way of meaningful and effective communication. 

Danger Opportunity

              Challenges are something that all of us face; none of us get out of this life without experiencing a great deal of them. The real test is how we perceive and handle them. In the Mandarin  language, their symbol of crisis is "danger opportunity". Some see change as a danger to their way of life while others notice an opportunity to improve their situation.

                I was talking to a friend not too long ago about struggles. Life is like a heartbeat, without those challenges (ups and downs) we flat line. We need these alterations to help us become what the Lord intended us to be. This isn't something new. Lehi was telling his son Jacob that there MUST be opposition in all things. If we don't have resistance, we flat line, we remain in the state we are at. We are damned to not progress.

                Sometimes it's hard to see the good when there appears to be so much bad. But when we try to look for anything beneficial, we gain so much. The Lord loves us and wants us to be happy, "men are that they might have joy". Heavenly Father knows how to make us happy better than we do. We have to keep that in mind in the sight of trial. All things are possible with the Lord. Face the crisis with the sight of opportunity and you will never regret it.

Kids 2 Adults

                In America, it is nearly impossible to live here and not be exposed to some kind of sexual content.  We are constantly bombarded by sex on television, music, posters, magazines, and even friends. It has created one of the worst confusions that our generation has ever seen.

                Because of all these messages about sex everywhere, many young people (children and teens) don't understand the true meaning of what sex is and why it exists. As far as I can tell, the young have always wanted to grow up faster. They want to be like their role models, be independent, and able to have more freedoms. Sex is considered a "mature" action. Since kids want to grow up so quickly, they feel that if they have sex, they have reached "adulthood" and that independence that they crave.

                Like mentioned earlier, sex is so readily available that children can learn about it before they can understand it. Many people complain about how we have so many teenagers being sexually active and try to counteract it by giving them all this information on how to do it properly so as to have less damaging effects (pregnancies, STDs, etc). But the heart of the problem is elsewhere.

                There is a lack of understanding of relationships. If we cannot help them comprehend what  proper relationships with others are, we will never make a dent on the issue. These young people don't know what it means to have a true, mature, successful relationship. So once we can help them realize what relationships are for, what it really means to love someone, etc; only then can we help them become that true "mature" and independent person they long to be.